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communication
September 2009 
Common barriers to communication
Eli
1. Insufficient adjustment period: Sometimes communication heralds change for which the receiver needs time to readjust himself and his environment.
2. Premature evaluation: There exists a tendency for people to prematurely evaluate communications, rather than to keep an open mind during the interchange.
3. Fear: Fear that a complete disclosure of all the facts may lead to a sense of insecurity in the sender's mind often leads to incomplete communication.
4. Failure to communicate: Since one cannot communicate everything, it is often necessary to select. This leaves the door wide open to selecting from nothing to only that much, which the sender feels important. However, the true message may not be the part which he has selected, but the part which he has left out
Access: Public
Agreed with all four items.
let us persevere until all the barriers fall! hugs
Thank you for this Eli, agreed.
I might add not giving it our undivided attention.
Clarity, double meanings and reflecting back to clarify
information overload, it needs to be in small bitesor we get indigestion!!!
Bala, Nicole, Gael ..Thank you for your warm footprints.
Gael, your additional inputs are really vaulable, many thanks.
Well put Eli and nicely addended Gael.
I might add over- and under-detailing, hyperbole, obliqueness.
And that style of embedded prose Aurobindo was fond of which stretches the mind to accommodate the essence of his teaching in a format which enables the required style of learning to take place…the communication failure mostly lies in the lack of cognitive ability or the avidya of the receiver in this case, I think.
Love the purple writing, Jon xx
This is a very wise addition, Eli. After meeting with many new friends in Europe, I realized how important it is to realize that many of us may not be consciously aware of the cultural and language differences inherent on a site like Gaia. Some of us might think that others are automatically understanding light jokes and comments, when that might not be the case at all. A single word can sometimes have multi-faceted meanings that others might not understand at all.
Having said that, it may be difficult to communicate anyway (without the cultural or language differences) just because a single word means something different to all of us, even if we're in the same household. Since we can't quit talking, I think the most important trait must be active listening. To listen and communicate deeply and not let one word or sentence stop us from connecting. P.S. I like all the other comments people left here, as well!
Jon, Thank you dear friend for you valuable comment.
Centria, how right you are.
Let me share an interesting personal experience on how people understand the SAME word differently.
Way back, in my youth, I used to be a “Transformational Trainer”. In mid 1960's I was addressing a Corporate Seminar on Communication. To illustrate how our personal “images/concepts” change the intended meaning of the message, I told all the 30 participants attending my seminar that I would “utter” a single word, and each of the audience should note down the immediate “image/though” which this word generated in their minds.
Saying this, I loudly said MOTHER, and the participants noted their reactions in their notebook. I then asked each of the participants to share with the whole group what they had noted. The feedbacks of every individual was different. A few examples of the feedbacks include “Compassion”, “shelter”, “love”, “a baby”, ” earth”, “tears”, “tree”, “flower” etc….
The most interesting feedback was from one of the participants who said “My wife”. We all wondered how the word “mother” could make him think of his wife. To this he told the group ” My wife is expecting a baby very soon”.
If a word like “Mother” which is so universal could evoke so many varied responses, one could imagine how careful one must be while communicating the exact message one wants to convey.
Your so right, Zephyr and well noted Shameslaya.
Your writing this blog Eli, certainly holds strong and caring values. It truly does make me think twice before writing:-)
Much love…xo
Very well written blog entry, Eli, thank you!
,What my concern is now to teach our next generation the keys to good communication, in times where everything goes fast, and schedules are loaded even for children to the brink with activity. While I believe modeling is a large part of education ones own child, it should be more emphazised within the mainstream education system. Many failures and misunderstandings within the schools could be prevented through such.
There is an idea for a blog, dear one - teaching true principles of communication to our children - what do you think?
Blessed Be!
Claudia, my dear dear friend…..many thanks.
About the idea “teaching communication principles to children” my thought is that Children already KNOW the true communication principles. It is we, the grown-ups, who need to learn the real communication principles. I say this from my first hand experiences. As we grow up, we gather a lot of “garbage” which creates these difficulties to communicate our thoughts. We, the adults, need to learn how to clear our “accumulated garbage” even to really say a true “Hello”. And this is a life long process, if one EVER decides to do so.
This medium that we are encumbered with lacks the subtle clues that the body uses to convey more than words can ever say. I like the language of the heart, and you have plenty of that. They say that 93% of our communication comes from these non-verbal clues..
Yes Lars, all the more reason for caution to be exercised while communicating using this medium. We do have an advantage of drafting and re-drafting here though :)
Great list Eli. :D I agree wholeheartedly.
Eli, your experience as a transformational trainer must have been fascinating. No wonder you have so much wisdom to share with us. Yes, every single word means so many different things to all of us (and maybe even every words means something different to each of us in different contexts!) I also like what Lars said about the lack of subtle body clues when we're communicating via sites like Gaia. We're often missing inflections and emphasis on words. Yikes! Well, I guess we just have to keep up the active listening, questioning, re-questioning and listening some more. Thanks again.